So a couple of days ago, Mike and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary. Two years…I can’t even begin to fathom where the time went. In these last two years we have moved three times (and I don’t plan on moving again for a while!) We have traveled to Venice, Barcelona, Malta, Miami, Bermuda, Boston, Montreal, Philly, and bunch of other places. We have had absolutely wonderful times and we have had some downright shitty times too. And while we have only been married for two years, we have been together for the last nine years and it has been quite the ride.
I hadn’t planned on talking about my marriage but I thought that I could possibly provide some insight for those of you that may be entering into new relationships, or are newlyweds, or maybe just have no clue what’s going on and need a little bit of advice while trying to navigate it through. Not that I am so great at it. Far from it. But I do feel like we have come a long way from where we started so we have got to be making some kind of progress! So here are some of the things I have learned through my relationship, before and during marriage:
1. There is no such things as being right or wrong in an argument.
No really – hear me out. Most of the time, you are going to think you are right (and you probably are of course) but your other half will also think you are most definitely wrong. And you guys will argue, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. About who is wrong, right, and everything in between. Things from 5 years ago that have absolutely nothing to do with the argument will come out, there may be some name calling, and then what? You end up staying mad and upset with each other and things will be tense while you each wait for the other person to apologize. Let’s be honest – life is just too short for that. Do you love each other? Do you really want to be separated from this person? Do they make your life better overall, other than this one stupid argument? If the answers to your questions are Yes, No, and Sure – then just stop the fighting, it’s not worth it. Sometimes it really is just better to agree to disagree and move on from there. And of course, I’m not talking about the big fights. But if you’re fighting over who does the dishes more…just move on. Address the issue, get it out there, but move on. Life is short.