So I came back to blogging about 10 days ago. It was at a time where I felt like my motivation to do anything really fell at an all time low. Maybe it was just the exhaustion from the move and renovation kicking in. Add work and just life in general into the mix and I just didn’t have the energy to do anything any more.
I don’t remember why, but I opened up my blog posts from a a year and half ago and I started reading and I just thought – I want to be that girl again. I was pushing myself everyday to be better and I had felt so good. Stupidly enough, I let life get in the way and one week off turned to two and so on. It was so easy to fall back into a rut and I am so upset when I think about it now. All that effort and work just wasted.
Part of me thinks I stopped trying to be better because I stopped blogging. It sounds silly, but actually writing down my progress in a such a public way, not only motivated me to keep going, but helped me keep track of myself. My failure before was also focusing too much on the fitness aspect of being healthy. But being healthy is so much more than just working out.
Being healthy to me means finding that balance between work and life. It means not letting the stress from my 9am-5pm job carry over and continue to wear me down at 9pm. It means opening up my fridge and putting together a home cooked meal instead of opening GrubHub or Seamless. It means making the effort to actually go outside and breathe in the fresh air, if only for a couple of minutes to clear my head. It means putting in the effort to be more physically active than I was the day before. It means finding the time to balance being a wife and a friend and a daughter. But most importantly, it means finding time for me to just be me.
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So first off, aren’t I a disappointment?
Here I was, opening up my old blog that I haven’t looked at in more than a year and I literally laughed out loud when I saw my last post about finding my way back. I think I took a few wrong turns somewhere along the line as I obviously did not make my way back.
And of course I have excuses, but who doesn’t have excuses? What are my excuses though? Oh, you are so kind for asking.
This last year has really felt like one big roller coaster ride. My husband and I had been house searching in Long Island (we are both from Queens so naturally our parents weren’t too pleased with us venturing out east) but as it turns out we ended up settling on a coop in Queens to be closer to them (for potential future needs) and to be closer to our jobs (since we both work in NYC).
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First of all, allow me to apologize. I have no excuse for my lack of communication or for my lack of commitment lately. Yes, I was sick for a while and the lasting effects kept me from being able to exercise, but I I have been feeling like myself for over a week now so I have no excuse. My last post…well, that wasn’t me. There was no reason for me to allow myself to get to that low of a point, especially considering the progress I had made prior to going away and then coming back and being ill. That person allowed herself to get discouraged and allowed herself to get lazy with her eating habits. That person has finally gone and I am determined to get right back on track again. So first things first…
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Completely Overdue for An Update…
I apologize for being MIA recently. As it happens I got the flu right as I was coming back from Florida and proceeded to be completely knocked out in the days that followed. Today is the first day that I am actually feeling more like myself (minus some coughing that is just refusing to completely go away.)
I feel absolutely awful that I have not been able to work out since before going away on vacation. On Sunday morning I couldn’t take it anymore, and even though I wasn’t feeling all that great, Mike wanted to go to the gym so I figured I’d go with him. I mean I’d be fine as long as I focused on weights and not cardio, right? WRONG. I’m not sure if it was the lack of exercise over the course of 2 weeks, the illness, or both, but I had no energy at all. Weights I was able to manage with no issue before now had me panting after a minute, and once I started panting, I found it harder to breathe, and once it became harder to breathe, I started coughing and just could not stop. I think I managed to last about 15 minutes before I just threw in the towel.
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